Lessons from Ozzie

The Ozter in a rare moment of quietude

We've all seen those cards: "Everything I know I learned from my ___". Much as I hate to admit it, I've actually learned a lot from my cat, Oz. When I picked him out at the San Francisco ASPCA, it was because he seemed like a bold little fellow, and he had an unusual affection for my hair (he still does). What I didn't know was that he was feral, and not likely to change. Eight years later, we have both survived numerous periods of shrieking fury, cursing, nursing bleeding bite and claw wounds,  and removing either the remains of prey or live prey (I quit keeping score after the second year, when we reached 250 "household visitors"). Oz is quite the dude. We have come to an understanding, mainly because I've realized a very simple fact about cats, and their people. We often assume cats consider themselves better than us; the reality is that cats do not accept the concept of "victim", and they won't understand if you do. I suspect they don't even think of their prey as victims, but as worthy adversaries.
Whenever Oz bit me out of annoyance or simply a desire to chase around, it's because he takes me as an equal. I used to whinge when he seemed to attack me for no reason: "but I'm always so good to him! I feed him and brush him and love him! Why does he hate me so?". What I didn't get was that he was treating me with ultimate respect. He adores me, and I didn't know it for the longest time. When I decided to be HIS equal--to fight back, tease him, and continue feeding, loving and brushing him--our relationship got so much better. We respect each other now. Cats don't do "victim", only equals--if I was not considered to be his equal, he would simply ignore me.